It’s that time of year again: the end of it. To celebrate, I compiled a list of all the things that were unequivocally the best.
Best Sandwich: Pesto chicken club. Consumed by Trevor Huggins of Mount Pleasant, New Jersey. Chicken clubs can be a little dry sometimes. Not this one. It was the best. Congratulations, Trevor.
Best Shirt: Jake Reardon’s light-blue button-up. It goes with everything, and it can be casual or dressy. Jake’s received multiple compliments from co-workers he’d never even talked to before. It’s crazy. Jake’s shirt is the best.
Best Friend: Jessica Simon. She’s done nothing but give and give and give to Lauren Groves. Everybody knows it. Even Valerie McDonald has to admit it. So don’t even.
Best Dog: Puddles the Gordon Setter. Puddles was adopted by the Tabaks five months ago. The Tabaks had to give away their last dog, Dr. Zaius, because he nipped at little Brady Tabak whenever Brady pulled his tail. Once, Dr. Zaius camethis close to really chomping down hard on Brady’s toe. He even tore a little hole in the cuff of Brady’s pajama bottoms. That’s when the Tabaks had to put Dr. Zaius down. But Puddles lets Brady pull her tail all the time. She just sits there. Puddles is the best.
Best Pen: Frank Langella’s pen. (Yes, THAT Frank Langella.) Deborah Vance got his autograph after seeing him in Man and Boy on Broadway, and he’s got this pen that writes upside-down. It was too cool.
Best State: Florida.
Best Car: Gloria Keach’s ‘96 Honda Civic. Gloria’s put close to 200,000 miles on that thing, and she’s only had to service it once. Some cars don’t last half as long. Gloria initially felt guilty about not buying American, but not anymore. No way. Not when she’s got a car like that.
Best Haircut: Donny Ferguson’s. He’ll never pay forty bucks for a cut ever again, but he’s got to admit: it’s dope as shit.
Best Movie: It’s a tie between Drive, The Descendants, Hugo, Melancholia, Tree of Life, Bridesmaids, and that other one with what’s-her-name.
Best Blog Reader: You. Yes, YOU! Just kidding. It’s Frank Langella again.